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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sony needs U.S. Navy SEAL Team Six. Now!

Doggone it! My sons, son-in-law, grandsons, and one granddaughter just got our SOCOM4 disks and have played all the single-player missions. We were ready to go online BIG TIME, planning ambushes via a separate IP telephone connection, and darned if the network didn't get hit again (see the Time/Techland report today). As I commented 8 days ago, I still think this is an inside job from ex-employees with a big beef.  Sure, Sony will probably find the word "Anonymous" left in conspicuous places, but it's IMHO a blatant misdirection.

Again, given that PSN is an online gaming universe, I say, "Let the games begin." Put a significant bounty on the bad guys and give the rest of us a get-out-of-jail-free card so we can land some hard cash. Turn your gaming community from a bunch of petulant adolescents bent on further embarrassing you into an army of cyber privateers who want the "street cred" of a public reward for landing the bad guys.  The legal ducks seem to be lining up in your favor, so…?

So…come on SEAL Team Six. You've got some well-deserved down time. How about making the cyber world safe again for all of us wanna-be SEALS? You probably have some Cyber War tools not available to the rest of us. In fact, you're probably Alpha testing DARPA's C.R.A.S.H.-crashing technology, anyway! Paraphrasing one of my favorite movies of all time, I say,
"Warriors, come out and play! Oh Warriors, come out and play-yay!"
Now, before I post this, I'd better try to log onto PSN and verify that Time/Techland haven't shot themselves in the foot.

Back from the PS3. Alas, my password needs to be changed and they said they sent me an email on how to do this. Since it's been half an hour since then, and since I haven't received my email…well…I'll go take an after-my-bike-ride shower and then see if the email comes. If it doesn't, I'll assume that…the kite has gone up again. Stay tuned.

Yecch! Got the email and followed the link, which brought up the following message:
Site Maintenance Notice
The server is currently down for maintenance.
We apologize for the inconvenience. Please try again later.

メンテナンスのお知らせ
現在、サーバーのメンテナンス中です。
大変申し訳ございませんが、しばらくしてから再度接続してください。
I guess the kite has gone up. Drat!

Okay, SEAL Team Six. Rules of engagement:

  1. Do not shoot them in the head. We need a live, suffering (probably ex-Sony employee) bad guy to parade through the virtual streets.
  2. Do not dump his body in the ocean (even if you do shoot him in the head). We need to stuff him and mount his carcass in the Smithsonian. Probably need to put a spit-plate in front of the taxidermy.
PC Mag reports today that Sony CEO Stringer calls the outage a "hiccup." I'm not sure I'd use that word. I'd recommend he yell "Game on!" and outline a set of rules that would set the cyberworld abuzz with excitement and energy. I know that's what Larry Ellison would recommend (that is if my "Vulcan mind meld" is still active with his vibes). More suggested reading: Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle. In that novel, a ruler and his best friend live in a stagnate society. The ruler suggests his friend start a "religion of meaningless lies," and that practice of that religion will be punishable by death. They do this, and suddenly, the society isn't stagnate anymore. 

With due respect, Mister Stringer, you need to define the battlefield or you are well and truly hosed.

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Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?