Monday, October 3, 2011

FBI will come "directly to your home"

I'll let the following phishing/spam/extortion email speak for itself. Call it a lighter moment, courtesy of the guy bringing you the White House "Morgan Doctrine" cybercrime petition (click here). Enjoy. Note, I added the red highlight in the last paragraph of this humorously illiterate scam.

From: FBI <office_updatefile0@att.net>

Subject: Good Day,
Date: October 3, 2011 9:48:01 AM MDT
To: undisclosed recipients: ;
Reply-To: officestate29@yahoo.com

Good Day,

We have been watching every single transaction you made since last year until this 2011 and you have to know that we are also working to make sure your funds which are suppose to be delivered to you, and also bear in mind that what ever you emailing us will be forward to the court. Also we are hereby to notify by the federal bureau of investigation Cotonou department of the insult you imposed on them by failing to comply by their requirements.Your full residential address has been forwarded to us for your immediate arrest to face your charge but I deemed it fit to give you one more chance to save yourself from this mess.

We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence. Now I john Francis Pikus the special agent in charge of the FBI Albany department I am giving you 24 working hours to effect the payment of the $70.00 usd. To the FBI in Lagos Nigeria, (fbisecurity) with the information written below:
Receiver: larry ijeh
Country: Lagos Nigeria,
City: Cotonou
TestQ: warning?
Answer: now
Amount: $70.dollars
Mtcn number.........
You have to try as much as you can and make this payment so that your funds will be delivered immediately to your destination.You have to stop every transaction you are communicating with other organization to avoid delay on the processing of your funds.

Note that you? if you fail to stick with my advice or any delay will lead to us coming directly to your home address at any time, so try and dance by the rule and get back to me with good understanding ASAP. Special Agent in Charge;

DR UCHEAMAKA HOSEPH Pikus

Oh, and did I mention that Yahoo! gets a "F" in security. Still. I'd actually like to run Yahoo! I'll bet I could turn them around.

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Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?