Key to Stealth with The Perfect Virus: The Supply Chain

If you want to undetectably infect the known cyber world, the key is the supply chain. Hence my reluctance, along with the U.S. Government, to buy stuff from Chinese-based companies like Huawei. Alas, my deep-dive security guru Brian Krebs has sent chills running up and down my spine since his revelations about the Adobe security breach (see today's article here). His headine: "Adobe Breach Impacted At Least 38 Million Users." You see, if it weren't for Adobe products, I'd probably be robbing liquor stores for a living.

No, it isn't the theft of credit card information or user names that has freaked me worse than a bunch of super-fast zombies racing up the mountain to my pirate cottage. It's the theft of Adobe source code and the likely misdirection of Adobe attention to their 38 million active users and away from their source code management system. The biggest coup for hackers and rogue governments would be slipping malware into the Adobe Acrobat Reader.

Yegads man! The very thought of it makes me shiver like a virgin at the Playboy Mansion. Sooner than later, somebody is going to lace my ginger ale with GHB and I'm going to wake up in bed with some troglodyte asking, "Was that good for you?" Sweet mother of pearl, the reason I don't have to get in a suit and go to meetings all over the world is that I send guerrilla warfare campaigns to my clients as PDF files!

Yo, Adobe. Please make protection of your software release management system the top priority. And please consider putting a couple million dollars as a bounty for finding and, er, punishing the culprits. A little creative accounting and only the vaguest suggestion defining the word "punish" should do the trick. That way, you'll have plausible deniability when ears, fingers, and other terribly crucial organs start appearing in iced FedEx boxes on your doorstep.

Otherwise, I'm going to have to start casing liquor stores. Hey, maybe Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) would give me a stipend?