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Saturday, January 4, 2014

Larry Ellison Named Microsoft CEO

In an unrepeatable attempt to use Quantum Leap Innovations data exhaust on a data stream created by a hybrid Wolfram-Alpha and Massively Parallel Technologies trilloMIPS pay-by-the-bucket InfoFarm, the following snippet emerged from what appears to be an early 2015 New York Times story. This blog makes no claims as to it's authenticity, and provides the snippet for entertainment purposes only.
… in the most astounding story of 2014. "Who would have believed such a course of events," said an unnamed source in the Obama administration. "The anti-trust implications alone would have tanked even early consideration of this appointment."

"Why have there been no legal challenges to this unholy allance?" mused Shira Ovide, Wall Street Journal reporter who chronicled Micorsoft's difficulty in finding a CEO in her January 4, 2014 story (see it here). "Perhaps it's because all tech stock prices have shot through the roof."

"We're in completely new legal territory here," opined former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, who resigned his post in late 2014 to work in Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign. "Two companies the size of Oracle and Microsoft cannot collude in stifling competition, but nowhere did the framers of anti-trust laws anticipate the same CEO functioning in two different companies."

In the above-referenced WSJ article, Ovide said the big snag Microsoft had in attracting CEO candidates was a perceived problem of board conflict, since two of Microsoft's former CEOs sat on the board. Commenting on this, Larry Ellison said, "I will probably disregard any advice Mister Ballmer offers. On the other hand, Bill Gates has been trying to pick my brain for a long time, and I look forward to several high-bandwidth conversations with him, now that we're on the same team."

"So far, the only challenge to this appointment has come from China, of all places," said former President Bill Clinton. "But since they have no legal standing in U.S. Courts, it appears they must express their reservations in political forums. This is going to be a fun year…
The above data stream terminated for unknown reasons. Should a repeatable stream be reestablished, the API to that stream will be provided free of charge to major news outlets and to computer scientists worldwide.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Mr Bennett:

    It seems that Larry Ellison has problems at home:

    "Shareholders reject pay rise for Oracle's Ellison"
    http://www.businessspectator.com.au/news/2013/11/1/technology/shareholders-reject-pay-rise-oracles-ellison

    "The vote against Oracle's executive compensation policy adds to a similar defeat at last year's meeting, and while it requires no changes from the company, it underscores concern among shareholders about high pay in the face of lacklustre financial performance."

    ReplyDelete

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