Saturday, July 9, 2016

My New Cyber Privateer BFF, Chewie

Chewie let me take the helm of the Millennium Falcon. Hopefully, we'll find out who is willing to release all Hillary's emails from her hacked server. Stay tuned.

Monday, June 13, 2016

I'll Bet My #AGT Stand Up Comedy Act Could Have Gotten Simon Cowell Knighted by The Queen

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This year, I auditioned for America's Got Talent (#AGT), and didn't make it. I did get a few seconds of cameo on the second episode, however. Oh well. The following posts are a hint of a President Donald J. Trump routine that could have finally gotten Simon Cowell his knighthood by the Queen of England. But hey, I got an AGT cameo!

My Trump routine posited the invention of a new TV show: Apprentice Secretary of Defense. Contestants could take out cybercooks, terrorists, and even human traffickers, paying for their own exploits with dollars from their high-flying sponsors (I kind of had Oracle's Larry Ellison and Salesforce's Marc Benioff in mind for my donors). Imagine, a self-liquidating defense program that doesn't cost the taxpayers a cent, and even generates advertising revenue for the U.S. Treasury.

Not only would it have been spectacularly funny, but my anti-terrorism guerrilla warfare ad featuring Simon Cowell could have earned him a knighthood. That's why I called my routine "guerrilla warfare comedy."

Wanna see my 3 Trump "Apprentice" postings? Here they are (click on 'em):


  1. http://www.themorgandoctrine.com/2016/05/dear-donald-trump-heres-my-audition-for_11.html
  2. http://www.themorgandoctrine.com/2016/05/dear-donald-trump-heres-my-audition-for_10.html
  3. http://www.themorgandoctrine.com/2016/05/dear-donald-trump-heres-my-audition-for.html


Oh well, in a perfect world…

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Dear Donald Trump: Here's My Audition for Apprentice Cyber Czar

Sadly, I missed out being on Celebrity Apprentice. Since my guerrilla warfare ads created several Silicon Valley billionaires, I figured I could get each one of them to pony up a cool $1 million for some Celebrity Apprentice fundraiser and win the competition. Alas, Donald trump is running for President of the United States. But rather than dash my hopes, several new possibilities open up. Here is the first of my President Trump Apprentice suggestions. Not only could this get great ratings, but in most cases it would be self-liquidating, in that the cost of the operation would be covered by advertisers and apprentice contacts and not by the U.S. Taxpayer.
 Dear Mr. Trump,

Did you realize you could end world-wide cybercrime with one pen stroke. It's in the U.S. Constitution (Article I § 8 of the U.S. Constitution gives Congress the “Power To . . . grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal”). Simply, by allowing licensed and bonded cyber privateers to attack and confiscate the assets of cyber thieves, not only could you end cybercrime practically over night, but you could start the biggest U.S. tech boom since the invention of the transistor.

Click on the link to the right for my complete legal justification. The Revolutionary War was virtually financed and won by sea-going privateers, who raided British shipping on the open seas, sold their booty, and then split the proceeds with the U.S. Treasury department. Here's the Cyber Privateer Code of Conduct:

As you can see from the 2011 copyright, I've been thinking about this for a good long time, just waiting for a POTUS willing to stick a thumb in the eye of U.S. defense contractors, the Beltway Bandits.

I'd be honored to discuss this with you, any time, any place.

Sincerely yours,

The Destroying Angel

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Dear Donald Trump: Here's My Audition for Apprentice Secretary of Defense

Sadly, I missed out being on Celebrity Apprentice. Since my guerrilla warfare ads created several Silicon Valley billionaires, I figured I could get each one of them to pony up a cool $1 million for some Celebrity Apprentice fundraiser and win the competition. Alas, Donald trump is running for President of the United States. But rather than dash my hopes, several new possibilities open up. Here is the first of my President Trump Apprentice suggestions. Not only could this get great ratings, but in most cases it would be self-liquidating, in that the cost of the operation would be covered by advertisers and apprentice contacts and not by the U.S. Taxpayer.

Boko Haram leader Abubakar Shekau's last moment on Planet Earth

Dear Mr. Trump,

Another block-buster (pun intended) reality show if you become POTUS could be Celebrity Secretary of Defense, wherein a group of apprentices would vie for recognition in attacking world terrorism. My own project would be elimination of the human trafficking activities of Boko Haram's terrorist leader Abubakar Shekau. These are the wonderful people who kidnap African school girls and subject them to unspeakable brutality.

Again, this could be self-liquidating, in that I could get my sponsors to fund the armaments. While one Lockheed Martin/Raytheon hellfire missile would go for about $70,000, I personally think the collateral damage (ie; killing of innocent captives) would be unacceptable, I'd spend the equivalent amount to install drone-controllable glide wings on an I-beam like the ones used in your New York buildings, along with a thousand-frame-per-second HD video camera to mount on the projectile's nose. That way, we could capture Abubakar's final expression in mortality.



Oh yes, and the supersonic I-beam would be covered in pig fat and have the inscription "72 Virgins" spray painted along both sides.

Sincerely yours,

The Destroying Angel

Monday, May 9, 2016

Dear Donald Trump: Here's My Audition for Apprentice Head of the NSA

Sadly, I missed out being on Celebrity Apprentice. Since my guerrilla warfare ads created several Silicon Valley billionaires, I figured I could get each one of them to pony up a cool $1 million for some Celebrity Apprentice fundraiser and win the competition. Alas, Donald trump is running for President of the United States. But rather than dash my hopes, several new possibilities open up. Here is the first of my President Trump Apprentice suggestions. Not only could this get great ratings, but in most cases it would be self-liquidating, in that the cost of the operation would be covered by advertisers and apprentice contacts and not by the U.S. Taxpayer.


Dear Mr. Trump,

Today's Wall Street Journal front page story  (read it here) details how Twitter is cutting off U.S. Intelligence agencies from analytics. Not only do I have access to technology that continuously mines Twitter for terrorist events, but I can mine Twitter for drug dealers' appointments and delivery schedules, major news events that the mainstream media won't get for at least a day, health epidemic trip wires, and anything else on which you'd like intelligence.

So as the election looms nearer, and recognizing the very real possibility that you will be the next POTUS, please file this audition request.

Sincerely yours,

The Destroying Angel