Fair Warning to Auditors of Public Companies: You Could Get Sued This Year!

 

When I said you should short Oracle stock, you should have listened to me. Why? Just read today's Washington Post (CLICK HERE).

Because China has been using the Java logging 0-day exploit to drop stuff into Oracle sites for a while. You think patching the system solves the problems? Hell, not while these systems have been open for so long. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

But the good news for Oracle is that ANYBODY using Java logging has been wide open and well-and-truly screwed. If I were the auditor for a public company, I'd ask some tough questions before certifying their annual report. Otherwise, a disgruntled stockholder might just sue the auditor along with that firm's client.

You Might Want to Short Oracle Stock Before The Market Opens

 Just a quick note before the Monday shit rain.

A close associate reports spending the weekend patching a zero-day Java vulnerability on tens of thousands of Oracle servers, now vulnerable. The zero-day was reported from…CHINA! Any public-facing Oracle database that uses Java is open, including all the defense department and government systems. My friend speculates that that Amazon outage was an early sign of this exploit. You get read access to any Oracle database (and my friend reports they were getting 10,000 attempts a minute to use this exploit), and
Oracle's legal liability could be astronomical.

Fair warning, sports fans.

"The Candy Bomber" spends an evening with "The Destroying Angel"

 

(L to R) Colonel (Ret) Gail Halvorsen and Rick Bennett • Photo credit Halvorsen's eldest grandson

I always wanted to change the world. I spent last night with 101-year-old Colonel Gail Halvorsen, also known as The Candy Bomber. While the Berlin Airlift averted World War III, when Joseph Stalin decided to blockade West Berlin's 2-million starving residents, the real hero of the affair was Gail Halvorsen. He dropped candy in little handkerchief parachutes to the children on the runway approach to East Berlin. Me? I shamelessly promote myself as The Destroying Angel who destroyed the competition for Oracle's Larry Ellison and Salesforce's Marc Benioff. The Fortune 500 companies my ads destroyed include Ashton-Tate, Cullinet, Ask, Informix, and Siebel. But those feats pale in comparison to The Candy Bomber. You can see the history on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGc4vY_GwSc

My guerrilla warfare mentor, Tony Schwartz (creator of the famous Daisy television ad that ran only one time on one network, yet destroyed Barry Goldwater's presidential campaign), once told me that one ad can do more to change the world that all the politicians placed end to end. He should have told me that one brilliant kind-hearted idea could do more to change the world than all the ads placed end to end. Hum. Some guy from Galilee spouted that idea a couple millennia ago.

So a reset is in order. In my wildest imagination, maybe the very unique sci-fi novel I'm finishing will have a positive effect on our intergalactic relationships. Hey, guys, I'm a work in progress.

The kid from Wyoming formerly touting himself as The Destroying Angel

The Best Shirts I've Ever Owned

 About twenty years ago, I published my novel Destroying Angel. At that time, I decided to imitate Steve Jobs, who only wore jeans and black mock-turtleneck shirts. So I went to an online embroidery site and bought eight Jonathan Corey shirts. Black Mock turtleneck. With my Destryoying Angel logo (see the photo above). Somewhere along the way I gave away one, so I have seven. I wear one every day, which means I wash them once a week. Given the occasional superhero shirt or Sunday dress shirt that I keep wearing after church, that's washing them all every week. For over twenty years. That's over one-thousand washings. These shirts have NOT faded. They have NOT shrunk. And I paid less than $20 per shirt! Talk about a good buy.

Trouble is, none of the custom-logo online shops carries Jonathan Corey apparel. None of them! Believe me, I've googled my brains out. I can't even find out who makes Jonathan Corey shirts. Sure, several sites carry the brand. But even those sites don't sell black mock-turtleneck shirts.

So if any of you can get me in touch with these guys, I'd be forever grateful. I'd even let them use my testimonial free, with no strings attached.

Selah.

Trump Needs To Fire His Entire Campaign Staff

 

Holy Mother of Mercy! I'm getting all these "Final Notice" fundraisiing emails from the Trump campaign staff. Please, oh please let this be final from these jokers. It's obvious they think their fund-raising lists are composed of complete morons. You know, guys (I assume the Trump organization is run by alpha males who are good at hammering subordinates with their lame tactical opinions), President Trump should let Kelly Ann Conway fire all you dumb asses. With the exception of her choice of husbands, she seems to make the most sense when she communicates.

I'm Just Finishing the 2nd Draft of My Sci-Fi Novel

 

Photo Credit: Emily Jones-Goodwin of Galaxy Press

The working title is The Last Will & Testament of Harley Davidson…And His Dog. I dare say there has never been another sci-fi novel like this one. I'm using "Ellison's Law" here, which states you may never say anything that one of your competitors could say. I figure, if you can't do something unique, then don't do it at all. No vampires, werewolves, zombies or climate-change apocalypse.  I'll soon be looking for an agent. This is too good to self-publish.

How to LIVE LONG AND PROSPER (Vulcan greeting)

 My own formula for how to live long and prosper? Ride bicycles the 40 mile round trip from my house to Utah's Bridal Veil Valls…with (me on left) my doctor, my spiritual advisor, and my financial advisor. Think I've got the bases covered? BTW, I've ridden many thousands of miles with these three great guys.

My 9/11 Bicycle Ride

 

Yo, bad guys. I remember 9/11. And I think of you every time I get one of a dozen scam emails every day. 

The Latest Spam Scam: A "High Court" Summons

 

I've gotten a raft of these. As P.T.Barnum allegedly said, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the public." Has anybody actually fallen for this? Lemme know.

Here's Why Elon Musk is Laughing His Ass Off at Jeff & Sir Richard

 

Quoting the Joker, "Now you're talking!" Synchronizing 28 Raptor rockets in a heavy lifting stage 1 of an eventual around-the-moon shot!  Someday, I'd like to personally shake Elon's hand. Bravo, Big Dog! Leave the puppies back in the kennel, nursing on their mother's tit and congratulating themselves on duplicating a feat accomplished 60 years ago.

#jeffbezos #elonmusk #richardbranson

News about Bezos and Branson? Yawn. How about Elon Musk going around the moon?

 Justin Long, who plays Matt Farrell in the movie Live Free Die Hard almost got it right when he said:

The news is completely manipulated. Everything you hear, every single day is designed by corporate media to do one thing only. To keep you living in fear.

IMHO, the news media is nothing but entertainment. Did anybody ask Bezos or Branson a hard question? Like why are you stroking your egos with something Gus Grissom did 60 years ago? 

I imagine Elon Musk was laughing his ass off at these wimps. How about a trip around the moon, guys? As the late Heath Ledger said as the Joker in The Dark Knight, "Now you're talking!"

#heathledger #mattfarrell #justinlong #livefreediehard #bezos #branson #elonmusk #gusgrissom #wimps #moonshot

Jeff Bezos and Sir Richard Branson should have asked the question L. Ron Hubbard asked: "DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS CULTURE TO GET INTO SPACE?"

 No, I'm not a Scientologist. But I AM an avid reader of science fiction, and I recently ran across a most troubling quote from L. Ron Hubbard. Not only is he the founder of Scientology, but he's also the greatest science fiction futurist that ever lived. In one of his handwritten notes, he asked:

Do you really want this culture to get into space?

My own novel-in-process builds the case that we really ought to pity the poor bastards who come to invade us. Because we will obliterate everything they hold dear.

Just saying,

Destroying Angel

#bezos #branson #spacetravel #lronhubbard 

The Republican National Committee Is Run By Morons

 

These guys are out of control. You wonder why we lost the Senate and the House? It's the constant bombardment of emails. like this. Which are nothing but "send-us-money-to-continue-this-swell-program" messages.

Oh, and then you get a personal message from President Trump, but the disclaimer box below the message is this:

Paid for by the NRCC and not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee. NRCC.org

Judas Priest!

"We'll steal money with Zeus botnets and deposit money directly into your account." Sarah Moore

 

I just got an unbelievable email from someone calling herself SARAH MOORE. I can't believe anyone would be dumb enough to fall for this, since it is more than likely that their aim is to get into YOUR bank account. At any rate, if the FBI is watching, here are some goofballs ripe for the picking:

We make use of powerful Zeus botnets and advanced phishing and bulk mailing platform to gain access to bank login and database worldwide. Get instant wire transfer to your account in a single transfer to your business associates and trading partners.

Transfer service are available worldwide. On time delivery and efficiency is guaranteed without any issue or delay within 12-48 hours your transfer is confirmed.

Our minimum transfer is $5,000 and above per transfer to Personal accounts (Checking accounts, Savings accounts, Current accounts, Standard accounts, Our Fees are stated below. All our transfers are in United State Dollars and all transfer are process online safe, fast and secure without trace.

$5,000 � $9,000== Charges ==== $750
$10,000 � $15,000=== Charges === $1,350
$16,000 � $20,000== Charges === $2,900

We delete transaction logs after transfer is complete to your bank account so therefore our transactions is safe and untraceable, We provide this service In a Very fast, Safe And Sure manner. Try us today and boost your business with easy and no stress, we hope to hear from you don't be skeptical to take a step into your new world of success.

Contact us: royalhelpline@aol.com

Sincerely Yours,

The Destroying Angel 

Warning to UFOs: We DO NOT Greet You In Peace

 

"I come in peace; take ME to your leader." That's the typical first-encounter you'll pick up in our pulp fiction. Reality is, we're quite dangerous and you should stay as far away from us as you can. Just last night on NBC news, the increased sightings evoked the headline that our military regards this is a serious national security threat. Take this seriously! Because our military does.

I believe we could be the most warlike civilization in the galaxy. If you're reading this blog—which means you've grokked TCP/IP and cobbled together a browser—then you've probably been infected with at least one of the myriad virus programs our planet has to offer. Some are created by the best and brightest our warlike governments can muster. None our nations can risk advanced technology falling into anyone else's hands. And the corollary logic is, "If we can't have an exclusive on your science, then nobody can; we must destroy you."

So like I said, take this seriously. Quarantine this third dirt ball from the sun. If we haven't already, we will infect you and your civilization with war, bio-engineered plagues, political intrigues, and an economic/legal philosophy that trades life for money. In short, you honestly don't want anything to do with us.

Sincerely,

The Destroying Angel Himself

Dear FBI, Here's Why You Get No Respect

 

Ah sigh! I get one of these I-have-video-of-you-watching-porn extortion attempts about once a month. Since I've never been to a porn site in my life, I just grab the Bitcoin wallet link and have the message automatically routed to my junk mailbox. Because I'll get about 10 of these follow-ups in my emailbox every day. If you turkeys happen to have this schmuck's identity in your worthless bag of tricks, now would be the time to swoop down on him like a pack of speed-crazed wolverines. Here's his Bitcoin wallet:

1Cg1X5xS6wkLqPksNcsVzm41Mf24PsrE1

Don't worry. I won't hold my breath waiting to hear from one of you suits (as Mozzie would refer to you in the series White Collar). Instead, I'll just put out my own "hit" on this moron.

If any of my several-hundred-thousand viewers know who this is, I've got a swell prize for you if you (a) send me a creative video of how you (b) make this pile of camel dung wish he'd never been born. The more creative, the bigger the reward. Of course, I'll need proof that this was the guy. Yeah, it's a guy. Women are way more subtle. So much for being politically correct and gender neutral. This is a hit, not some pacifist singing Cumbaya chained to a lamp post in front of the police station.

Become A Character In My Buddy's Fantasy Book AND Get A BIG Tax Write-off

 

Brian Hailes won L. Ron Hubbard's Illustrators Of The Future award a few years ago. Since 2015, he's been coming every month to the writers group at my house, fine tuning his writing. He has just launched a KICKSTARTER campaign (click here for the KICKSTARTER link) for a rather spectacular book he's finally finishing. Given the large number of illustrations, it's taken him a while. We've critiqued each and every chapter for a few years. I'm not normally into fantasy, but this one hooked me big time.

You want to be a character in the book? For $375 you can have your face as one of the characters (in addition to getting a bunch of swell stuff, including original artwork, signed copies of the book, and all formats. Of course, for $36 you get a signed hardcover with color illustrations.

Check out the link. Oh, and did you know that if you get signed original artwork and hold it for a year, you can donate it to a museum and get a tax write-off for the appraised value? I did this one year with New York Artist Peter Max when I was head of advertising for Data General. We gave signed prints of his Statue of Liberty painting to 250 of the company's Million Dollar Club participants. In a year, I donated my own prints to a local library and got a $3500 tax write-off.

NOTE: Do NOT take this post as tax advice. Talk to your own tax attorney for applicability to the current tax laws.

I Just Sent My Formal Application to Make The 2023 Moon Trip

 

#dearMoonCrew I just completed my formal application for the 2023 trip around the moon. I'm just finishing my novel THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF HARLEY DAVIDSON AND HIS DOG, about an MIT prodigy's AI virus that takes over not only Earth, but the Universe. Who knows…?

CONTEST: Hack a Porn Blackmailer: Win a STAR WARS assortment of Pez candy dispensers

 Imagine my surprise when dozens of these emails showed up every day. "I have videos of you enjoying youself watching porn, and I'll send it to all your friends unless you pay me in Bitcoins." Since I've never been to a porn site in my life, I ignored them. It was easy enough to have a mail filter drop them into JUNK. Interestingly, if the culprit knew the first thing about DMARC, he'd know his claims of being inside my computer were ludicrous. Here's a smattering of subject lines from my trash bin, along with the letter he sent from each one:

And here's the sender source:

So my challenge to my hacker friends around the world (several hundred-thousand of you have visited this blog): Find the owner of the Bitcoin wallet 16aqr3rXxCtxa8AK3ErftnBQLfzyyhjpXJ and do something funny to him (I leave the definition of "funny" to your twisted minds). Then send me a picture. The best photo will win a swell Star Wars assortment of Pez candy dispensers.

Cheers,

Destroying Angel

Hacking Your Old QuarkXpress for the New Mac OS (Big Sur)

 

Yegads, I upgraded my Mac OS to Big Sur (11.1) and…crap on a stick!…my QuarkXpress 2017 won't work. So I called them and was told I had to upgrade for $395/year on their new subscription business model and no, they weren't going to issue a fix for 2017 because it was "end of life."

Guess what, sports fans? I dumped Adobe over their swell new Photoship/InDesign monthly licensing scheme, and damn well didn't want to support Quark in theirs. AND ANOTHER THING! There are alternatives to Adobe and there are alternatives to Quark. Free ones. Better user interfaces and better functionality.

Want to read a scathing review of Quark? Enjoy https://tidbits.com/2020/07/22/unless-you-are-a-masochist-do-not-buy-quarkxpress/. 

Want to replace Quark or InDesign? Try LucidPress.

Want to replace Adobe Photoshop? Try Krita.

Down with these Adobe and Quark greedheads!

#quark #adobe #indesign #photoshop #lucid #krita

A New SCI-FI Twist: Teen's Virus Foils Alien Invasion

 The novel is about two-thirds complete. Call it displacement activity (I'm ignoring politics and most of the news outlets, in favor of digging in at my Pirate Cottage on a Utah mountainside). And proof-of-concept that I know more about the perfect virus and the current state of so-called artificial intelligence than anyone else on the planet. All I'll share now is the working title and first three paragraphs. Stay tuned for the rest.

The Last Will and Testament of

Harley Davidson

And His Dog

    "Captain, I'm Harley Davidson. Apparently, my computer virus took over your ship."
    "Crippled is a more accurate statement, Mister Davidson," replied the tall, porcelain-skinned woman with matching white hair. She answered in perfect English. "And possibly more than my ship has been crippled."
    Just when I thought the month couldn't get ay weirder, I found myself chatting in my native tongue with a humanoid alien. Aboard a spaceship conveniently sunk in Boston Harbor. Me and my dog. Me, my dog, and a smoking hot captain.