Monday, November 13, 2023

Hacking Your Wife's Heart?

 About 25 years ago, I took the greatest bicycle trip of my life. My son Matthew had business in his job for Oracle, so I tagged along with him to Paris and shared his hotel room. While he attended meetings all day, I rode my bike around France. He went with me a couple of days and acted as my interpreter (he served his Latter-day Saint mission in Belgium and France). On one of my jaunts, I looked for a present to bring back to the states for my wife and…viola!…I found a really cool (well, there are other adjectives that might describe the container) bottle of Jean Claude Gautier perfume  (see back row, middle). I liked the smell and really liked that bottle. The rest is history.

Every birthday and Christmas since, I've given my wife some Jean Claude Gautier perfume. She only saved the unique bottles, as she's gone through about one a year (Did I tell you she is quite frugle?). Here's the collection, so far. The latest is in ther front row, third from the left (you can see the rest are empty).

I highly recommend you check out these bottles for the upcoming Christmas gift that will…be…uh…ooohed and aaahed over. Of course, your kids are going to go, "Woah Daddy!"

By the way, is available (as of 11/13/2023 at 3:19pm MST), if you have a hankering to start your own gift business.


Friday, November 3, 2023

Hacking Boring Meetings At Nap Time


Holographic Snoozing Glasses

How to get in a few quick winks at boring meetings? Get these holographic eyeglasses. You will blink when your head nods, and people will think you're looking at them from whatever angle they're sitting around the conference table. If your head drops when you doze, cross your arms and have one fist holding up your head, as if you're contemplating the deep meaning of every word coming from every speaker.


Wednesday, November 1, 2023

Hacking Your Cub Scout's Pinewood Derby


Rocket-powered Pinewood Derbe for "Dads" Unlimited Competition

Back when my three sons competed as Cub Scouts, one year a bunch of us fathers got together and had an unlimited, no-rules, winner-takes-all-the-glory Pinewood Derby. I won with this little beauty. I got a nitrogen-powered rocket motor from a hobby shop and filled this baby from the nozel on the font. To make it go, you just pull the plug out the back.

First time down the track, it blew the left-front wheel right off the car when it hit the end of the ramp. It still won subsequent events with just three wheels. 

One of the dads had rubber-band-driven rear wheels. Another had an electric motor. "The fools!" as the A-Team's Mister T would say. Go get a participation award for best paint job, or futuristic design. Me? I won, baby. Ugly don't matter. This baby is almost 50 years old, and whenever I see her I still get a chuckle as she sits proudly on my bookcase in the Pirate Cottage.

Friday, September 1, 2023

Analytics in the Last 500K Morgan Doctrine Visitors

The last 500K visitors come mostly from the United States, with (Interestingly) over 10% from Hongkong/China. Here's the breakdown:

 And here are the top-10 articles. Clearly, after the FBI's assinine performance, the top articles are my CyberPrivateer Code and the principles of "The Perfect Virus." Go figure:

Alas, current US law makes solution to cybercrime impossible. Selah.

Friday, June 2, 2023

A "Vulcan Mind Meld" of Larry Ellison's Idea of AI Ethics


I'm suddenly seeing LinkedIn posts on "Artificial Intelligence Ethics." I looked at the DOD's "ETHICVAL ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE" framework. My net-net: What a bunch of unadulyterated crap!

Okay, I'm being presumptuous here (Larry, forgive me if I misstate your view), but back in the mid-1980s my #2 son and I put a for-sale-by-owner sign on the Informix HQ building. Larry then used the slide in Hawaii at the Oracle Million Dollar Club sales meeting. I am paraphrasing that talk to project my own attitude toward AI ethics. The next time I chat with Larry, I'll ask him if this is his view also:

AI Ethics in Regard to Scammers & Crooks

I want my AI's attack on scammers and crooks to make the monsters in the first Alien movie look like mildly incontintent house pets. My AI will take away everything they own. It will put them out of business and bulldoze their homes. Then it'll salt the earth. Finally, it'll go after their families. How's that for AI ethics?

We all get multiple emails every day saying our passwords are expired and our accounts are about to be closed. Or some hacker has taken over our system, captured pictures of us amusing ourselves watching porn, and demands $2,000 sent to a Bitcoin wallet. Phone calls from "Microsoft support" by an ESL (from India) saying they've discovered a virus on our computer and they want to help us fix it. Etcetera. 

I can't think of a more ethical use of AI than to "end life on Earth as they know it" for these guys. To hell with RESPONSIBLE, EQUITABLE, TRACEABLE, GOVERNABLE. Okay, I can agree to RELIABLE.


The Destroying Angel

Saturday, April 22, 2023


 Well HELL! For the past few years I've been playing with a personal AI assistant for situational awareness. It would scan all the social media accounts I have for pending risks to me and my family. The reason I felt there was a business for an AI assistant located on desktops and phones is that the social networks can't shut you down. If a cloud service were to offer situational awareness, the Metas/Twitter/Google/TikToks of the world would easily shut them down. So many queries from one or two cloud URLs could be easily shut off. But such queries coming from individual accounts would slip by. Cool, eh? I thought so.

I've been playing with GPT's ChatAI to compare with my own ├╝berGenius program and got a rude awakening. Conclusion: I can kiss my dreams of being a multi-billionaire goodbye!

Suppose, for example that I wanted to see what infectious diseases are coming my way. I'd have my AI simply look at Web queries about infectious diseases state by state, and see what little bugs are riding in on the California jet stream or via airplane from the East Coast population centers. Here's the rude awakening supplied by ChatAI:

And here's the SITUATIONAL AWARENESS map I got from just the last day's queries on "Infectious Diseases" around me:

Woah, Hoss! The shit is hitting fan not in California or New York, but in the state just above me: Wyoming! What the hell is happening in Wyoming? Looks like it's already spreading to Montana and Utah (you can download the CSV file for each state and see the numbers).

Sorry, I've gotta' go now and call some of my buddies in Wyoming. Hey guys, WTH is going on in my home state?

Monday, February 20, 2023

Personal Advice from Bonnie & Clyde


Warren Beatty & Fay Dunaway 

Toward the end of the movie, Bonnie asks Clyde something to the effect, "If you had life to do over, what would you do differently?" 

I expected Clyde to say that he'd be a banker, or a lawyer. But instead, he gave me the key to personal anonymity when he answered: "I wouldn't pull jobs in my home state. Then I wouldn't be wanted there."

I've tried quite successfully NOT to do guerrilla warfare in my home state, a fact emphasized dramatically this Saturday. I went to the baptism of a little girl in my Sunday School class. One of the other attendees currently works remotely at Oracle, and told the group the he didn't believe me when I said I'd worked as Larry Ellison's one-man ad agency from 1984 through 1990. He thought I was just just another Utah BS artist. Then he Googled "Rick Bennett at Oracle" and found Christopher Lochhead's article (read it here), and saw I kind of understated my…ah…life of crime.

Moral of the story? If you want to teach a Sunday School class of impressionable youth, and then get invited to their baptisms, DON'T PULL JOBS IN YOUR HOME STATE.