Friday, March 13, 2015

Dear Kim Jong Un: Hillary's Your Chance to Be a Superstar!

Heaven help me, but I never thought I'd be giving meaningful PR advice to a Megalomaniac Mental Midget (M-cubed or maybe 3M?). But I was talking yesterday to Jeff Walker, one of the charter members of my cyber privateer fantasy league team and the inspiration for The Perfect Virus (see his nomination here), and Jeff came up with this idea. Simply, challenge KJU to release all of Hillary Clinton's email to the world! Not only would it beat the hell out of publicly spanking Sony, but the PR value could greatly endear this emotional pygmy to a GOP-controlled congress and perhaps even a 2016 POTUS candidate or two.

I confess I've been selfishly monetizing the NORK's "Beloved Leader" in my own humble way. Those of you who might be attending the Sales 2.0 Conference in San Francisco on April 27-28, 2015 will see the following ad:

Did you know that there is no royalty free stock photography of Kim Jong Un available for advertising use? So I had to hire a caricaturist to pull this off (and full disclosure demands I fess up to owning stock in the company being advertised). Shamelessly plagiarizing from the Sony movie that drew M-cubed's wrath, the "fun factor" kept me from seeing the big picture. 

Thanks to Jeff Walker, the NORK Wee Warlock Wonker (W-cubed?) could actually become a media sweetheart. All he has to do is promise his Chinese sponsors that he'll play nice with the world for 12 months in exchange for their treasure trove of Hillary Clinton emails. As I previously posted, it's flat guaranteed that the Chinese have all those emails (see my rationale here). 

Of course, Jeff's brilliant idea will never happen, because none of the midget's minions would dare present His Royal Himself with this insulting article. After all, who wants to get torn to pieces by hungry dogs on NORK television? But maybe one of my Chinese readers (the third most frequent visitors to this blog, second only to Ukraine and the United States) might scrub my sarcasm and cause an Utterly Unbelievable Ungasm in a small and easily manipulated brain, accompanied by the tune Springtiime for Hitler.

Taman Shud. 

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Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?