Consider this my "displacement activity" after several days of considering the…sorry Mr. Nobel-winning Vice President…"inconvenient truth" that Russia has come to a gunfight with a…sickle? I've never been to Moscow, but on the off chance that they sell advertising on the walls of their airport, I'd like the Russians to imagine this backlit wall-sized ad greeting passengers arriving from the Middle East:
WARNING IN THE LOWER LEFT-HAND CORNER: IT’S JUST AS EASY TO HIDE BACK DOORS AND VIRUS HOOKS IN PLAIN SIGHT THROUGHOUT INNOCUOUS SOURCE CODE. A 3-WAY “PERFECT STORM” CAN MAKE OTHERWISE WELL-BEHAVED OPEN-SOURCE SOFTWARE BEHAVE IN REMARKABLY DAMAGING WAYS.
BODY COPY: Iran has been named by the issuer of our Letter of Marque and Reprisal as a rogue government. Our underwriter has bonded, indemnified, and authorized Destroying Angel cyber privateers to confiscate your assets wherever we can find them. Think twice before you deliver that trunk load of money to the Russians. They can’t protect you or your computer systems, and you may need some cash once your checks start bouncing.
So get back on that jet and be careful where you refuel, since we may just impound your ride.
Go home. Invoke your Right of Parley under The Cyber Privateer Code. See what conditions you’ll have to meet before we cost you billions. Because after we grab all your assets, we’re going to take you off the grid. Forever.
Comrades, one thing to come out of Wikileaks is confirmation of what bad boys you've been, selling shoulder-fired missiles and nuclear components to terrorists and whack jobs in both hemispheres. Furthermore, I've given the Chinese a hard time about attacking my Linux server, because they're doing a pretty smart job of it. You guys are not only attacking my harmless little Linux box, but I think I let you off the hook a little too easily when I blamed the theft of my dead friend's email account on the Chinese.
I've seen no indication that your cyber skills are up to par with the Chinese. Given you share a common border, you'd better be sweating them a lot more that we do in the USA. And a few of your so-called upstanding citizens should really be nervous if our moronic government lets us take off the kid gloves and start kneecapping cyber criminal organizations.
ALTERNATIVE RUSSIAN HYPOTHESIS: Remember who I am and why I write this blog. I'm playing with over-the-top ideas to enhance my novels and to flesh out my cyber privateer concept. There is an alternative explanation for Stuxnet's "expiration date" and odd number of infected centrifuges harmed by the virus. If I were sitting around the poker table on the television series Castle (Season 1 or Season 2) with the other cameo-appearance mystery writers, I might just as easily propose an alternative to Richard Clarke's "US lawyers" hypothesis elaborated in my Monday post. Namely, that Russia created Stuxnet and cleverly misdirected the world to assume the USA and Israel were in cahoots. Even if this hypothesis proves true, however, it is still consistent with today's assertion that Russia is now in the protection racket. Iran had better pay up or…hey, an 'Iranian Chernobyl' could be the outcome. Selah.