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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Larry Ellison is the ideal cyber privateer

Given that we're in a "state of play" here (I don't even pretend to know all the ramifications of my cyber privateer doctrine, which is why I'm kind of thinking out loud on a day-to-day basis in this blog), why not have a Fantasy Cyber Privateer League, much like those fantasy sports leagues? What kind of personality and experience level would lend itself to leading a concerted cyber privateering effort? What kind of person would I trust to wipe cyber criminals off the planet? To hit rogue governments so hard their ancestors would bleed? Beat 'em like a gong? My first pick is Oracle founder and CEO Larry Ellison. I met with Larry at least once a week for over six years, during which he constantly amazed me with his unique world view. We'd recite movie dialogue to each other, again in a state of play, and somehow ads got produced. Ellison is, in my opinion, the prototypical cyber privateer.

I once asked him if maybe we ought to run our ads through legal for an opinion. He snorted, "Nothing doing. I've got a litigation department; let 'em litigate!" We never did "run an ad through legal." We simply set out to attack the competition. Never getting personal, we always used technological intimidation. We were never sued by the object of our attacks. Larry set out to destroy Ask Computing, Ashton-Tate, Cullinet, Ingres and Informix. They no longer exist as independent entities. When his proteges successfully created their own large and successful companies (Siebel and PeopleSoft), Larry took them over. And Oracle is currently and quite publicly bitch-slapping SAP and HP. Needless to say, when Larry goes after you, you've got a fight on your hands.


Larry is the real-life version of Iron Man Tony Stark. Ellison won the great database wars. This year, he won the America's Cup yacht race. I predict its only a matter of time before he owns an NBA basketball team and leads them to the championship. And one of the greatest moments in any U.S. confirmation hearing would be watching Larry do a Tony Stark in the Senate: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have successfully privatized international cyber security!" Whereupon he will raise his hands in victory and waltz out of the hearing room.

Mike Wilson once wrote a book called The Difference Between God and Larry Ellison (in which I was quite favorably treated). The answer to the question posed in that title was, "God Doesn't Think He's Larry Ellison." Maybe a new book should be called The Difference Between Larry Ellison and Tony Stark. And the answer will be, "No difference at all."


So I hereby name Larry Ellison the leader of my Fantasy Cyber Privateer League. Come on, Larry. You've saved the world once already (only Larry will know what I'm talking about here; I've told him that if I ever get the chance to introduce him to a large audience, I'd share that story). So how about saving the world once again? You can pull off the job long before we get around to re-engineering the Internet to eliminate the bad guys. And I'd love to say, "Aye aye, Captain Ellison."


Selah.

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Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?