Monday, December 20, 2010

Dear FBI, my 3rd request

The single biggest reason we need to privatize cyber security with self-funding cyber privateers is that no centralized organization, funded by tax dollars, can possibly keep up with the onslaught of criminal enterprises. On November 5th, I went throught the Website for the SECOND TIME to complain about cyber criminals hijacking my dead friend's email so they could peddle cut-rate drugs. My first request was October 22nd. I haven't heard anything, so below is my note to them from today, posted again on the site under "additional information" for my complaint:
"I sent my original complaint on Nov 5, 2010. It is now December 20, 2010 and I have received no communication from you indicating that anything has been done. Do you seriously think I'm going to approve of additional tax dollars going to your organization? How about turning some licensed, bonded Cyber Privateers loose, armed with Letters of Marque and Reprisal. They'll get your job done and it won't cost the taxpayer a nickel. See"
And just so you'll know I'm not blowing smoke up your kilt, my IC3 Complaint number is  I1011051123313961.

Dozens of times since my first posting, I've received email from my friends' hijacked email accounts (at least they were living friends) with just a Web site selling discount drugs from "my friendly Canadian pharmacy." Now since the site opens a money trail where credit card transactions can be facilitated, any cyber privateer worth his salt (and armed with an attack toolset even 1% in compliance with my previously published 22 Principles for Creating The Perfect Virus) ought to be able to make a pretty penny looting the bank accounts of the parent criminal organization responsible for this rather massive effort. I say "massive" because it appears they've thoroughly breached the security of both Yahoo! mail and AOL mail accounts.

Every time I see a news story of yet another municipal, state or federal effort to get more tax dollars to fund cyber crime efforts, I can become rather poetic. What mental pigmy can possibly come to the conclusion that more tax dollars to fund a larger (unresponsive) bureaucracy is the right solution?

Honestly, if someone has a better solution to cyber crime (and even preventing Chinese/Russian misbehavior from escalating into full-blown cyber war) than private, licensed, bonded Cyber Privateers, I'd love to hear it.

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Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?