Saturday, March 15, 2014

Malaysia Flight 370: Hypothetical White House Conversation

PRESIDENT: Who's the guy with the Teddy Bear?

NSA DIRECTOR: Mister President, we call him Rainman. He wrote the classified Tripwire program that produced these data.

PRESIDENT: Yeah, well…that is the purpose of this meeting. Why the hell don't we tell the world what happened to Malaysia flight 370? I've seen your hi-res videos.

NSA DIRECTOR: We're confident that a foreign government engineered this disappearance to see exactly how advanced our global surveillance technology truly is.

RAINMAN: [Expletive]ing Chinese.

PRESIDENTIAL AIDE: Sir! You do NOT use that language in front of the president!

NSA DIRECTOR: Please forgive this outburst. Our Rainman is an autistic computer savant, and excitement sometimes presents itself as Tourette's.  I promise you, if it weren't absolutely necessary for him to be here…

PRESIDENTIAL AIDE: [interrupting]…That Teddy Bear stinks. Get it out of here.

NSA DIRECTOR: Sir, with due respect, the last person who tried to separate Rainman from his Teddy Bear has never completed a cell phone call since. In fact, any digital record of his life, including credit history, has ceased to exist on the planet. He currently lives in New York City's Central Park where he begs for food.

PRESIDENT: Back to the purpose of this meeting. Exactly why are we not showing the world what happened to flight 370?

NSA DIRECTOR: Sir, because we don't want the world to know the extent of our technology. Unlike the Russians who tipped their hand by using the SNAKE virus in Ukraine…

RAINMAN: [Expletive]ing Russians!

NSA DIRECTOR: Mister President, I am so very sorry…


  1. hello Mr Bennett:

    +Maybe the White House should to consult a wizard or a sorcerer.

    + David Copperfield and the Burmese government what they say?

    + He made the statue of liberty disappear years ago and knows the Bermuda Triangle:

    Sometimes the Old Ways Are Better

  2. + Unfortunately it seems that the crew and passengers of this flight died.

    Malaysia factotum believes the plane was deliberately diverted by someone on board....But the lack of evidence has fueled intense speculation, Competing theories, and tormented the families of the missing.

    + Malaysian officials said earlier this week that satellite data confirmed the plane crashed into the southern Indian Ocean ...... BUT

    ...... Professor William Webb, a fellow of the Royal Academy of Engineering, told MailOnline: ‘The phones definitely won't be working. They'll be underwater, out of coverage and by this time out of battery.

    The mystery has deepened after reports emerged that relatives have been able to call the mobiles of their missing loved ones.

    ‘As to why they are "ringing" it'll be the same as if they were out of coverage - in some cases it may ring before going to voicemail.’

    Some reports claim the phones are just ringing and ringing however.

    Telecoms expert Alan Spencer told MailOnline that if the phones are really ringing, they can categorically not be under the sea.

    He added that the phones will only be ringing if they are ‘switched on, not in water, the battery is charged, and [they are] near a mobile cell site.’

    This means that if the phones are genuinely ringing, the plane needs to have landed on land – not in the sea – and be in a location where there is cell service, rather than in the middle of a jungle, for example

    Read more:

    + My opinion is that the pilot crashed the plane in Australia, in a desert and uninhabited area, somewhere to the north of Perth.

    The plane turned left, flying on a great course or circle to the left, toward the only land zone: Australia because the pilot lost control over the direction of the plane.

    That's where I would look for the remains of the plane.

    + The search zone for the Malaysian airliner that crashed in the Indian Ocean nearly three weeks ago HAS SHIFTED 680 miles to the northeast after new analysis of radar data suggested the plane flew faster than thought and used more fuel, which may have reduced the distance it traveled, Australia said Friday.

    This story is a great mystery and a great demonstration of incompetence.

  3. The official version of the Malaysian authorities is not credible:

    BBC NEWS: "MH370: Missing plane search 'most challenging ever'"

    "Late on Monday, Malaysian officials issued a new version of the last communication between air traffic control and the plane's cockpit.

    In a statement, authorities said the last words received by ground controllers were "good night Malaysian three seven zero".

    They had previously said that the last words from the plane were "all right, good night".

    It is not clear why the official account has changed."


    What is happening in Malaysia?


Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?