Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Israel's Mossad to Release Bill AND Hillary Clinton's Emails

TEL AVIV, ISRAEL—Sometime Before 2016—Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced today that Israeli's Mossad has been authorized to release the entirety of both Bill and Hillary Clinton's personal Email files. The indexed and searchable database is now available at http://www.MossadPublic.com.

"We released these documents," explains Prime Minister Netanyahu, "to protect the integrity of and our friendship with Israel's most important ally. We are aware of at least five other nations' security services that have gained access to these files from the Clinton's home-based server, and we wanted to validate that our version of these data is true, accurate, and unedited. This avoids the real possibility that other governments may be prepared to alter these files for their own geopolitical purposes."

Unnamed sources in both the Russian and Chinese intelligence communities expressed shock and dismay that Israel beat them to the punch. Exclaimed one North Korean source, "Damn! We really truly had these files first." The Clinton 2016 presidential campaign staff were not available for comment, although police received a complaint of excessive profanity penetrating neighboring offices and onto the street through open windows.

So far, no national leaders have disputed the accuracy of the Israeli-supplied files. Which means Israel's goal for protecting the data assets of their most important international ally has been achieved.

Mazel tov.

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Implementation suggestions for THE MORGAN DOCTRINE are most welcome. What are the "Got'chas!"? What questions would some future Cyber Privateering Czar have to answer about this in a Senate confirmation hearing?